The Sudden Caregiver
- Details
- Created on Wednesday, 12 October 2011 09:01
- Written by Barbara
We were passionately in love and married just six weeks when my beloved suffered a debilitating stroke. Horrified shock became Post-traumatic Stress Disorder that kept us both on edge. As I gradually resurfaced, clinging to hope, I found I was solely responsible for every aspect of our lives – and he was not the man I married. While I struggled to hold on to hope, my frustrated husband became depressive, then suicidal and turned to tequila to numb his pain.
As I began to slip under the waves of trauma and responsibility, a friend took me to a gathering where I encountered a loving and powerful healing community based on the ancient spiritual tradition of Peruvian Shamanism. When my husband entered the addiction recovery program at our HMO, I entered the Family Recovery Program. Supported by these spiritual and psychological communities, I learned to distinguish between care giving and enabling, between sacrifice and martyrdom. I found the tools and support to claim my destiny apart from my beloved’s choices – and to make my way to healing and renewal.
Our story exposes the dangerous shadow issues that caregivers often face: personality change--inverted relationship dynamics--post-traumatic stress--and the caregiver’s frailties. It reveals how to accept change, embrace life, and emerge into joy, the classic spiritual journey through death to rebirth.
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